Sometimes it’s easier not to know
A made it home last night and is fine. He’s already past the incident, while I’m still working through it. It’s been so nice to have other wives to talk to. From the moment I first heard from A, my mental Rolodex started spinning through who I could contact for support.
It’s really difficult to be on the receiving end of the knowledge, knowing only what you are told and being unable to ask any follow up questions. Every time we would talk, A would give me some new piece of information (only part of which I would understand as my knowledge of aviation and jet systems is limited) or tell me what was going to happen next and I’d ask “well what about this?” or “did you ask this?” inevitably he wouldn’t know. What the next step was going to be changed every time I spoke with him. For a control freak such as myself, it was torture.
It brought up something that had been in the back of my mind since we started commercial aviation- who notifies the family if something goes wrong? I know that in the case of an accident it will be splashed all over the news before I am ever notified; news crews don’t give a rat’s ass about compassion for the victim’s families. But who’s job is it to make the official notification- the company or the union? And when? And how? Would I just receive a phone call and that was it? Would I be lumped in with the victim’s families when they would probably be blaming the pilot for the incident? What if it wasn’t an accident, but he had to be hospitalized and couldn’t contact me? Would they contact me then? What is the notification threshold? Would I be flown out to be with him or would that be my responsibility? If, say, I couldn’t get in touch with my husband for several hours after he was supposed to have landed is there a number I can call to find out if something happened to him? All I know now is that they have my “emergency contact information” (ie phone number). I have visions of being off on a day trip to the beach with a terrible message waiting for me on the home answering machine, not knowing because no one bothered to call my cell phone…. It would be nice if the company could put out a brochure for families about procedures in this type of situation.
I’m still suprised that we’ve already had an incident but according to A, I shouldn’t be. With the frequency of flying that they do, it’s bound to happen sooner or later. And then he regales me with stories of what’s happened to other people he knows and I kindly tell him that it’s better if I don’t know these things.
He’s home for a few days now before he heads out to rondeveau with his metal mistress at the end of the week again.
3 Comments
- MSFlyerswife replied:
Metal mistress… I like that one.
Really sorry for your scare. Don’t feel morbid for asking these questions, either, because I know I have had the same ones. Seriously, your fears have probably been felt the world over. I always ask “where are you going today”, not because I want to know so I’ll have a reply when our friends ask me where he is, and not even to know when to expect his “I’ve landed” call…it’s so when I see the huge ball of fire on the news and they say it was a _________ Airlines flight from ___ to ___, I’ll move close to something soft to land on when I faint.
I would think that surely someone from the company would come to our house…but you never know. I was on the tennis court one night with a fellow pilot’s wife. As soon as she saw me she asked if he was flying, I said no and she said good because there was an “incident” at such and such an airport with one of our planes….
I’m going to bet that back in the day there was some type of a “pilots auxiliary” for families at home that would have an explanation for all of these questions and many more. Too bad those days of the “glamorous” pilots’ life are way over and they’re just employees like everyone else now.
If you find the answers to your many questions, please post. I’d love to hear what is supposed to happen in situations like this…
November 6th, 2007 at 3:43 pm. Permalink.
- Heather replied:
Great questions!
My hubby called me at work one day. All he said was “I’m fine. Everything is fine. We’re on the ground now. Don’t worry. I can’t say anything else” and then CLICK! So what do I do? I head for the nearest TV that I could find. Sure enough, it was on the news. His plane had to circle the city for 2 hours to deplete their fuel before landing as the landing gear wouldn’t come down! The media got hold of the story and gathered at the airport to watch the landing. But, there he was, just after calling me, on the news- safe and sound on the ground! Everything went fine, nobody hurt, etc. He even made the front page news of the newspaper the next day!
The crew had been instructed not to talk to anyone, especially the media. Hence the short phone conversation. But hubby knew that I worked in a hospital and had many scheduled patients throughout the day and I might get wind of what was happening just down the road. So, he ’snuck’ a phone call in just as they landed. I was glad he did though, because in the afternoon I had many of my patients come in and ask if I’d heard about the comotion at the airport earlier! The whole scene made my heart pound though! Hubby is with a different company now.
So, all your questions are very interesting to me, as I’ve always thought about what if the ending to our story had been different…
November 7th, 2007 at 12:26 pm. Permalink.
- Partner of a Pilot replied:
I too have wondered about this… Especially as we’re not married! We have a baby together, and a house, and we have been together nearly 4 years, but I feel like I’ll be even lower down on their list! I have often wondered about te emergency stuff, especially as I’m not even convinced that they have my numbers-I am going to chase that up today… Thanks for the wake up call!
I read recently that the police automatically look for in any victim’s mobile phone for contacts called ICE (or In Case of Emergency contacts). For a while I had my partners number stored under ICE as well as his name, but my caller ID kept telling me that ICE was calling, and I got irritated and removed it.
November 9th, 2007 at 4:05 am. Permalink.