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See you there!

A made it through surgery and is home doing fine. He is healing well and the surgeon says he is on the right path. The surgery was intense, but went well. He’ll now sound like a grizzled old veteran pilot instead of the fresh faced youngster he is. We finally got a break and found an Oncologist who is also a pilot (CMEL) and previously was a flight surgeon in the AF. Not only has he worked with pilots in the past, but he understands all of the FAA regs and intricacies of medicals. And, he’ll complete the LTD paperwork that we’ve been stymied with (b/c, it seems, that not a single Endocrinologist here “does disability paperwork”). I feel great about having him as a physician.  The next step is for A to take radioactive iodine (on 4/1) and then later to have daily radiation treatments for 6 weeks.

The airline continues to be wonderful to us. Many generous pilots donated to our paypal account, most are people A has never even met. The Chief Pilot and Base Administrator have been working to keep us active (fingers crossed it’s going to work…). The company is offering COLA’s (company offered leave of absence or voluntary furlough). It doesn’t bode well for the company to have an excess of pilots, but for us, it’s a lucky break. If A can get one, it will give us not only insurance, but also flight benefits and seniority protection for another few months. If we make it to one year (just one more pay period now), then we’ll also be eligible for FMLA protections.

Emotionally we are doing well. A says it’s hard for him to believe he really has cancer because other than the surgery recovery he feels fine. It’s almost surreal for him. It’s a bit more real for me, as the one dealing with all of the doctors, company, friends and family. But we are doing well. I’m not one to get wound up about things b/c I know it won’t change the outcome. I did finally have a crying session yesterday while talking to A and felt better about things afterwords. I can’t complain about having a househusband around to help take care of things I don’t have time for.

I think one thing I miss the most is my alone time. I’m either at work, in the car with Kidzilla (we commute together) or at home with both the boys. My bed has been invaded full time and I just always have someone wanting my attention. We’ve had (some sincere and some not) offers from friends to let them know if we want/need anything. Well what I really want is for someone to steal me away for a manicure, pedicure and an afternoon to read a book. But then again, I just want to be with my boys b/c I am away from them nearly 40 hours a week. Sometimes it’s hard for this caregiver to find time to care for herself.

It’s frustrating sometimes, to have to deal with whiney people who have lame excuses. It’s prime time at my job right now, the busiest it is all year. Lots of paperwork being turned by people and lots of excuses about why they couldn’t get it in on time and the like. All I can think about is- I’m sorry, you think you have problems? Let me tell you what I have on my plate b/c I guarentee it’s more and I’m still getting my shit done on time. To each their own I guess.

This weekend we are going to enjoy the fine FL weather before it gets too hot. We’ve got a family hike planned on a trail we haven’t tried yet. That’s me, blazing trails in more ways than one.

Medical- A made it through surgery and is home recovering well. He can only whisper and occasionally will make a nice croaking sound when he tries to talk. Some of the vocal cords were pretty damaged during the surgery so we are waiting to see if they heal. Surgeon said he could have just cut them out, but wanted to give them the chance to work again. He’ll have a different voice next time it comes over the PA. Not having a thyroid is already starting to show its effects- he’s sluggish, tripping more often and can’t remember so well. We are having to switch Endocrinologists (his managing/treating physician for this ordeal) because the one he was referred to “doesn’t do paperwork”- office policy. So she won’t complete ANY of the paperwork we need for FMLA, short term disability, long term disability, FAA. We’ve got a referral to a new office and I am working on setting something up with them soon. The next treatment step is to wait for about a month and then take the radioactive iodine to knock out the rest of the cancerous cells.

Company- We’ve been in contact with HR, the Chief Pilot, the Base Administrator, ALPA Aeromedical committee, ALPA LTD/LOL committee, the LTD company, an FAA physician. Sometimes I feel like I am in a game of telephone because I only hear what gets filtered down to me and it is sometimes incomplete.

From what I understand, we are just weeks short of being with the company for 1 year (4/2 is our anniversary). Because we don’t meet the year mark, we don’t qualify for FMLA time, which would preserve our medical benefits for a few months. Instead, when A ceases to be paid and goes “inactive” we’ll have to go on COBRA until the LTD kicks in to help us out. Also, the LTD pays out at a percentage of the rate you were paid while working. There is a huge difference between first and second year salary, so if we could just hold out until April, we’d see a lot more disability income. The pilot staff is doing their best to keep A active until April, but HR is being hardline about it. We brought up the idea of a sick time donation for A and had many positive replys from people willing to donate. However, the company doesn’t have a sick time donation program so it seems like we won’t be able to go that route. It’s incredibly frustrating on our end, but there is not much we can do about it. So it remains to be seen whether we will meet the deadline.

Mostly, the company has been great. We were able to fly A’s dad out to help us during the surgery push and we have had many well wishes come our way. A message about A was posted on the company pilot’s forum and we were encouraged to set up a paypal donation account so people could donate towards our medical expenses. (Want to donate? Click HERE ) It’s been wonderful to actually receive help from people we do and don’t know as well as advice on things we need to watch out for. Several people we haven’t heard from in ages have called to wish us well after seeing that post.

Friends- It’s been interesting to see which friends have really come through for us and which ones seem to have disappeared. Our friend Bob who has worked to coordinate the sick time donation and forum updates. Our friends Erin and Tom (whom we only know electronically) helping us navigate company and ALPA info as well as recovery issues. My JetGirl friend Hillary and her husband for trekking out one evening to bring us McDonald’s at the hospital even though they weren’t anywhere near the hospital. And all our other aviation friends for sending their well wishes and calling and my local friends here in Jax for offering to babysit and more. Although we’ve been disappointed in some, I think A is feeling bolstered by the amount of people who have called with support.
We were talking the other day about how generous people have been to us and how this is really a turning point for us to be more generous with other people as well. Although now is not the time for us, in the future we hope to be able to spend more time working with the same comittees that have helped us and giving more money to relief programs. Hopefully putting a face to the people who benefit from this kind of thing will make it more relevant for other people as well.

Some blog related issues- If you’ve been trying to leave a comment and were told you were spam, I’m sorry. I think the security has been raised on the site to prevent spammers. Nothing I can do about it, but I really do appreciate comments. I’ve been checking out other blog sites to compare so a move may be in the future.

We made it through the surgery. The surgeon said A gave him a run for his money because the tumor was more invasive than he expected. It was wrapped around his jugular vein as well as extending into his neck muscle and reaching toward his ear. All in all, he removed the tumor, the thyroid, all lymph nodes and a portion of neck muscle. But he feels good that he got it all and the radiation will get the rest.

A is currently still in the hospital.  He can’t talk at all and has been using the notepad feature on his cell phone to communicate. Due to a bad reaction to some pain medication last night, we aren’t sure if he’ll be released today or not.

A has a papillary carcinoma, basically a tumor growing on his thyroid. It’s growing at a fast rate and is intertwining with his vocal cords and heading up towards his ear. He’ll be having surgery on Thursday, will recover for a month and then follow up with some radiation treatment. Then, we’ll wait for the FAA, probably for months. The radiation treatment will be a challenge to say the least- 48 hours of not being able to be in the same room for more than 3 minutes, 7 days of not touching or sharing items.  And endless humming by me of any song with “radioactive” in the lyrics (a particular 70’s rock hit comes to mind) will add to A’s misery.

The good news is that A will eventually be able to return to flying, once a special issuance is in hand. It will take 6-12 months from the conclusion of treatment to get that though. Long Term Disability and Loss of License insurance will help keep some money rolling in, thought not nearly a total income replacement. We are looking at having to maintain our health insurance though COBRA for at least the short term, which is not exactly cheap.

It is frustrating, to say the least, to have just gotten into this and to feel like the door has slammed shut in our face.  It is hard to watch this happening. I could tell when the sad acceptance of reality came when A finally unpacked his suitcase, the travel soap reappeared in our bathroom and the blazer went to the back of the closet. The outpouring of offers of help from friends has been helpful; the genuine offers rare. I had to ask 7 people if they could bring me dinner at the hospital the night A will be there overnight. Although I have been able to maintain my daily functioning and occasionally keep some good humor, my private moments, in the car alone, are not always so pretty. There are times when I feel on the verge of tears for hours at a time. Most times I feel emotionally spent from trying to keep up on all the details.

We’re getting through this one day at a time though and hopefully in the future, this will all just be a “remember when…”

A has an agressive thyroid cancer. It will require an complicated surgery to remove and will then be followed up with chemotherapy. From what we were told, he can’t return to a part 121 airline until 1 year after completing chemo. And he’s 5 weeks from being at the company 1 year, which would afford us some better protection and benefits.

My head is spinning

When A has to leave to catch a commute flight to work, he is incapable of leaving our place on time. It doesn’t matter if the flight is at 6am or 6pm, he won’t get out of our house on time. It’s just him, there is nothing I can do about it. He’s yet to miss a flight though and thankfully it doesn’t carry over to his show times.

A needs 2 full sets of travel clothing- one to take and one for the wash. Several times we’ve been stuck late the night before a trip doing laundry for something (socks, undershirts, his favorite off duty T-shirt…) he needs to take on his trip the next morning. Since his time at home doesn’t always coincide with my laundry schedule, it’s easier to just always have one clean set waiting for him. Sometimes he’s going to have to be happy with wearing his second most favorite off duty T shirt.

Pilots are gossips. I don’t know why I thought that the pilot profession would be immune to it, but it isn’t. Every time A gets into the cockpit, there’s a discussion about “what have you heard/read/picked up through osmosis?” I know there is occasionally some down time in the cockpit and it’s an easy subject to talk about, but it seems like some people spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about the future. As a pilot, you aren’t likely to influence management decisions so why obsess over it?

A has a flight attendant groupie.  She picks up trips specifically b/c he’s on them. Or at least that’s what she told him. She’s young (under 21), somewhat lacking in social skills (due to a strict fundamentalist, home-schooled exist prior to getting on with the airline), and 10 minutes into their first trip announced to both A and the CA that she “didn’t sleep with married men” (after asking whether they were married at minute 9…). A telling her that married or not, he wasn’t interested in her seems to have set her world off kilter b/c she spent the rest of the trip trying to find out why. I think it made him appreciate a secure woman such as myself even more.

And now my worries are free like butterflies to propagate the world over.

part 1- here

 part 2- here

part 3- here

While A was here recently, I got to listen in on the pilot conference call with the CEO of the company. It was really interesting to listen to and hear some truth behind the rumors. Basically, pilots can call in from where-ever and listen in on a giant conference call. After an update by the CEO, people are free to ask questions of him and he will answer them to the best of his ability. Of course, the CEO painted a rosy picture of the future of the airline while rumors run rampant about base closures, investors pulling out and a million other things. But I think it was great that the pilots got a chance to candidly ask the CEO questions.

We also hosted A’s friend on Superbowl Sunday while he was here on a layover. It was interesting to talk to someone from a different base and hear his take on all the news and rumors.

We hear there’s going to be a 20% reduction in lines in the next few months, which may or may not put A back on reserve (we’re hoping not). Already there have been reductions in the lines from our local airport as they concentrate the flying in another part of the US. He’s had to turn to other airlines to commute out to his base, whereas he used to be able to do it solely on his own. But whatever works.

I watched both the American and British versions of Airline. It was interesting to see the difference in the two. I had first thought that the British staff were mean compared to the Americans. But then, at the same time, there were some instances where they went out of their way to do things I don’t think the Americans ever would have done. So I guess it could go either way.

I saw that UAL was going to start charging for people who checked more than one bag (link here). I’m not sure that I agree with the way that they are implementing the rule, but there is no doubt that it will generate some revenue. The comments were the most interesting part of the article.

Maybe A will have a good flying story when he gets home in a few days…

The other night we finally met up with another local pilot A knows and went out. It was so nice to be with another pilot wife to commiserate with in person. Although I have several internet friends, there’s nothing like being able to knock back a couple beers (or pear ciders as it were), drowning your sorrows with live friends. A has met several local company pilots while commuting and recently even flew with an entire crew that all lived here. I think half the battle is just actually calling someone after you met them and inviting them out. It’s like dating- scary to make the initial move, but fun when it all works out well.

A is on a trip right now with his most favoritist FA ever- a middle aged, swishy, latino man. Every night I get calls about what fun he and FA are having hanging out in the local bars, going out to the steakhouse, riding in the hotel van, waiting at the airport… It’s not that I don’t want A to have fun and enjoy himself on his time off, but I hate to have to hear about it when I’m standing in the frozen foods aisle at the local Publix trying to clean up all the bags of frozen veggies that Kidzilla accidently pulled out onto the floor while trying to help shop or while sitting in traffic on the bridge because everyone insists on slamming on their brakes the moment a single raindrop hits their windshield. I think I’m jealous. A’s friends probably think he’s attached to me with a cell phone umbilical cord b/c he calls me so much- b/c he’s afraid I’m mad at him for having fun.

I finally had to whip out the “well, he’s an airline pilot so he needs special treatment” card yesterday. We’re still working on getting a diagnosis on the cancer issue and an office scheduled him for testing without consulting us. I got a call that he needed to pre-register for a procedure scheduled for 2 days later. Of course, he’s off on a trip and can’t make it. So I had to call back, be put on hold several times and explaing the problem to several different people. I gave them his schedule with limited weekday in town availabilty (actually got a good feb schedule with some weekend time off…) and they acted like they had to move heaven and earth to get him rescheduled. They tell me, we can schedule him for a saturday, how’s that? Well, um no, just because it’s a weekend, it doesn’t mean he’ll be home.

On one of A’s very first flights, his Captain told him- never surpise your wife by coming home unexpectedly; you never know what you might come home to. Sad advice, but good advice as well. A nearly came home and suprised me, but then thought better of it when he realized I’d probably be asleep and have the inside only lock on our front door done. If I woke up to the sound of someone trying to open the door at 10:30pm when I wasn’t expecting it, I would have flipped out. so he called at the last minute to let me know he was coming. It dulled the suprise, but was probably better in the long run. It’s not always cheating spouses you have to watch out for, sometimes it’s also a visit from the police for attemped breaking and entering.